Delayed Feedback is a Problem You're Putting Off

Prevention and Cure

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The need for a difficult conversation rarely comes from a sudden change, they don’t come out of nowhere. Quite often they are the result of feedback that wasn’t given early enough, or clearly enough, or sometimes at all. A small issue gets noticed but doesn’t get mentioned. A pattern of behaviour sets in but feels too minor to raise. A piece of work comes back below standard but it’s busy, so you let it go. Each time the decision to wait to deal with the issue seems reasonable, but before long you’re staring down the barrel of a conversation that has become considerably harder to have than it would have been at the start.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Avoiding difficult feedback is one of the most common habits in management. Most of us are conflict averse, and we see these types of conversation as conflict, with a high risk of us upsetting someone. No one enjoys telling someone else that something isn’t working, especially when the relationship matters and the outcome is uncertain. However, the cost of waiting tends to be higher than the cost of dealing with the situation now.

Give feedback early and keep it simple

The most useful thing we can do is treat feedback as something ordinary rather than something significant. When feedback is given (and received) regularly e.g. a brief observation after a meeting, a quick word when something hasn’t gone quite right, it becomes the norm, rather than the exception, and is just as easily associated with something good as well as something that needs action. People get used to hearing it, and you get used to giving it.

The key is to be specific and factual rather than general and evaluative. “That report needed another proofread before it went out” is a more useful piece of feedback than “your attention to detail isn’t where it needs to be.” One describes something that happened and can be acted on. The other describes a quality, which tends to feel like a judgment and is much harder to do anything about.

It also helps to give feedback as close to the event as possible. Feedback given as soon as possible, ideally the same day, or the day after, feels relevant. The same feedback delivered three weeks later, perhaps because you waited for a one to one, can feel disproportionate to the person receiving it even when the content is the same.

When the conversation has become unavoidable

Sometimes feedback has been left too long, or the issue is significant enough, that a proper conversation is needed rather than a brief word. This is where a lot of managers feel stuck, partly because they’re not sure how to start, and partly because they’re anticipating a reaction that may not actually materialise.

A little preparation goes a long way, but it’s also easy to over-prepare in a way that makes the conversation feel more formal than it needs to be. You don’t need a script. What helps is being clear in your own mind about three things before you go in — what specifically has happened, what the impact has been, and what you need to be different going forward. If you can answer those three questions simply and factually, you have everything you need.

Do your best to keep the language plain and straightforward. It’s tempting to soften things, but this can result in the message getting lost and giving too much detail, or over-explaining things can sound defensive. Say what you need to say, give the other person space to respond, and then listen properly to what they say rather than thinking about what you’re going to say next. Most of these conversations go better than managers expect, and the ones that don’t usually go better than they would have done if the issue had been left to grow any longer.

Why feedback and conversations are even more important now

If you’ve read the Employment Rights Act changes article, you’ll know that the qualifying period for unfair dismissal is reducing from two years to six months from January 2027. That change makes timely, honest feedback more important than it’s ever been, not because every feedback conversation is a potential legal matter, but because managers who have been giving regular, honest feedback throughout someone’s employment are in a much stronger position if things do become difficult later on.

The best protection isn’t a paper trail. It’s a culture where feedback is normal, expected, and given in good time. That’s good management practice regardless of the legal context, but the changes coming through next year make it worth thinking about sooner rather than later.

The feedback you’ve been putting off isn’t going anywhere. In most cases it’s going to get harder the longer it gets left, and the issue it relates to continues.

If there’s a conversation you’ve been finding reasons to delay, it might be worth asking yourself what you’re actually waiting for. The right moment rarely happens, more often, you just have to choose one.

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